I FORGIVE YOU- NOT FORGET! Pt. II

Part 2: Forgiveness: What it is

Welcome back! Last time we looked at what forgiveness is not. I suspect that that article may have been empowering to many of us but I hope it is in the correct context! To summarize the last article, you have not forgiven if you treat the person according to the sins committed against you. If you have forgiven but have not quite forgotten, still feel hurt about the situation, or have set boundaries to prevent a reoccurrence, this does not mean you have not forgiven. Ultimately, allow the Holy Spirit to show you where you may have hidden resentment lingering as unforgiveness. This will not happen unless you are honest with yourself. Onwards to part two!

Now, before we begin queuing up for “I survived you” t-shirts which serve as disguises for our resentment, let us take a look at three truths about forgiveness.

First truth: God through Jesus Christ forgave us by taking onto Himself, the consequences of our sins.

The greatest act of forgiveness and restoration was completed on the cross when Jesus died in our space for our sins. This act signals the love that God, Our Father has for us and how much He wants to be in a relationship with us. It also demonstrated another often understated truth about forgiveness. Sometimes, forgiveness asks us to live with the consequences of someone’s sin against us. In the very same manner that Jesus Christ, being innocent, took onto Himself the sins we committed and paid the ultimate price of death- even onto death on a cross, so we too as Christians may be required to bear in our bodies the consequences of someone who sinned against us. Now for the real-life application. I read an article recently where a young lady shared her experience of being raped at age 11 by a man who should have been her protector. He believed having intercourse with a young virgin would have cured him of HIV. That within itself is a very traumatic experience. The young lady says she has forgiven the man of his ignorance and his sin against her but unfortunately she still has to live with the consequences of his sin against her as she is now HIV positive. What is it that you have to bear in your life as a consequence of someone sinning against you? Have you left your vengeance to God or are you still seeking it on your terms? Do you still expect the debt owed to be repaid to you? Do you still bring up the event to justify your behaviour? If so, you may still have some unresolved issues of unforgiveness.

Second truth: Forgiveness cancels a magnitude of debt

Just as God the prophet Micah employed poetic language to describe the depth of God's forgiveness a Him casting our sins into the "sea of forgetfulness, to remember them no more", we are to do the same. As mentioned earlier, God’s act of “amnesia” refers to the way He chooses not to deal with us according to the sins we committed. Likewise, we ought not to treat our brothers and sisters in a manner that highlights the previous transgression. Canceling the debt requires that we do not bring up the offense to the offender, others, or ourselves. No holding it over their heads, no using the transgression as manipulation, no attempts to shame them, no attempts to justify our behavior or any attempt at undermining the transgressor’s reputation.

Third truth: Forgiveness is paired with pursued relationship and restoration

At the start of this article, I mentioned how terrible I felt not having received forgiveness for my transgression against the family member. Though I had apologized, I longed for the restoration of the relationship. True forgiveness does not only seek to cancel the debt owed, it also seeks to love again. Yes, it may be hard to say “I forgive you” to the transgressor because of fear of conflict, more so when the transgressor replies with a denial of ever sinning. Note that it is your responsibility to pursue peace- Romans 12 v 8. If it is a situation where the transgressor does not receive the opportunity for reconciliation that is on them – you did your part as the Lord God instructed.

As we close off this topic of forgiveness, I pray that you spend some time in introspection, being as honest and as open with yourself and your loving Father in heaven. Forgiveness is a big step. It is not always an immediate occurrence and it takes hard work! What I pray will guide you to move towards forgiveness is the fact that you have benefitted from the greatest level of forgiveness through Jesus and the fact that THE FORGIVENESS OF YOUR TRESPASSES IS HINGED ON YOU FORGIVING THOSE WHO TRESPASSED AGAINST YOU.

Prayer

Dear Almighty God,

Thank you for sending your Son, to die for us as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. Thank you that you do not deal with us according to our transgressions. Help us, Father, to do the same to our neighbours- not seven times per day but seventy-seven times per day. Help us to remember that forgiveness is an ongoing process, not one that pops up immediately. Help us not to give in to our desires for vengeance as we know vengeance belongs to you God and you will repay. Help us to be healed and whole. In Jesus’ name, we pray.

Amen